there are more than two choices.........

I had an AHA moment today.

I think I am here to help people understand more about group home placement. We are in the dark ages here. There seems to be only two choices for families to make and they are in two unbreakable boxes....1. keep your disabled children at home for their entire lives......2. put them in a group home and forget about them.

"Group home" is still a four letter word.

I realized that today when an friend of mine was relating a story about her grandson. He was born with a genetic disease that brings with it a whole host of physical and developmental problems. In her attempt to be optimistic she explained that the doctors told the parents to place their infant in a group home because of the extensive care that he required.
Her son refused to just "put him in a home and forget him", oh no. He turned the whole experience into an opportunity to change the whole community.

Her point was to illuminate the blessings that have come from having children with disabilities in your family. And thank goodness that people can talk about that in public now. It is a far cry from even 20 years ago. We are all moving into a more inclusive society. I am so thankful for that. Even though we are a long way from eliminating discrimination against the disabled, every year gets better. But in her haste to validate her son's decision, she continued to perpetuate the myth that group homes are a horrible choice to be avoided at any cost.

I agree with her. Our boys have blessed our lives more than it is possible to express. It is an honor to have these sweet children and learn how to best care for them.

And it is time for society to accept Group Homes as another resource to help families care for their children. Are there families who place their children and then cease contact, yes. Are there families who keep their disabled children at home and neglect them pitifully, yes.

We have placed our boys in a group home and we have regular and meaningful contact. We have open and ongoing communication with the staff in the home and their classrooms. This arrangement has blessed our boys, our typical teenager, our marriage and the lives of our friends and extended family.

I can only say all of this because I too am recovering from the misconception that group homes are a horrible choice for parents who don't really care about their children.