hair trigger......

Autism transforms mommies into super heroes.

Sixth sense able to sense the slightest shift in weight signaling your child's preparation to sprint out of reach. Laser beam sensitivity of the eyes to catch your child's gaze assessing the distance between their position and the nearest adult enforcer. Cobra-quick reflexes allowing me to catch the last available appendage before the child can get away to steal a fingerful of frosting off an unsuspecting visitor's cake .

I am.....a marvel of operant conditioning. My skills are legend.

And I have a hair trigger.

My senses are so well trained that it is hard to turn them off.

Hence my OVER reaction in the movie theatre this afternoon. Hubby was man enough for a matinee showing of , "The Help". Brilliant movie...worth every penny....a MUST SEE. And it was a rare treat. WE haven't been to the movies since Potter.

It was brilliant until the final climax of the show.

We heard it.......ring....ring......RING!!!

The senior citizen Chatty Cathy behind us who had been semi-narrating the film hadn't turned off her phone!!!

Three......four......five.......SIX rings that grew increasingly louder as she fished her phone out of her purse.

And then we heard it.....in her too- loud- talking- person- who- has- hearing- problems- voice....

"Hello?"

at this point people are starting to say..."No" out loud around her and shushing her.

"I'm still here at the theatre.....people are telling me to be quiet"

THIS IS THE CLIMAX

.....my adrenaline kicks in and I respond TOO fast...lightning fast.....with cobra-esque-precision.

I whip around, while slicing my throat with my finger, and whisper-screetch..." . SHUT . THE . PHONE . OFF "!!

No kidding...she looks at me and says...."its an emergency"...meaning....someone bothered to call her cell.

She took a few more sentences to finish up the call and we all tried to move on.

I felt terrible because we are all torn between appreciating the movie moment and getting this nitwit to get a clue.

It ruined the ending of the film and I was ashamed that I had struck without warning. I felt a prompting to apologize for pouncing so violently but I ignored it. We left without speaking.

Oh well. I am grateful for my skills and have a better appreciation for Spiderman's Uncle's wise counsel....

" with great power comes great responsibility".

While my children were home, my skills were always stretched to their limit and I was largely unable to respond to the general population. Now I am out in the wild and like a newborn learning to tailor my responses to less demanding circumstances.

My apologies to the world around me while I learn to live with my super powers.

* *This senior citizen did NOT get up and leave to finish the call. We endured the few loud sentences until she hung up. She SAID it was an emergency but it was obvious to the universe that it wasn't. **