Mommy Shark

From the beginning of time, my teeth have been a problem, a dumpster fire of poor genetics, (my paternal grandmother had full dentures at age 18), wasted opportunities and neglect. Pitted like golf balls, the nooks and crannies in my teeth were a nightmare to clean and ruthlessly destined for root canals from day one.

Good thing my dad was a dentist.

I have been a connoisseur of dental procedures from a tiny age. My favorite is evaluating novacaine shots. The crown, the cleaning, the bridge, the braces and the eventual epicoectomy. That is a fun one where even after a root canal, your tooth decides to ruin your life and a surgeon has to give the root of your tooth a buzz cut.

I cannot remember a time when I haven't had dental pain, sensitivity to eating foods or the sense of doom knowing that it was only a matter of time before the next emergency.

It was never a matter of IF I would be getting a root canal, but WHEN.

When you teeth start falling out, that is super fun.

My first partial denture happened in my early 40s. Super bummed about that one. I tried getting an implant in my upper jaw and it failed miserably.

Enough of my upper teeth fell out and I ended up with an upper partial denture just a few years ago.

I hated it because I am vain as hell.

Now I had to deal with food getting caught in it, lisping, whistling when I pronounced certain words and not being able to eat food normally ever again. Food occurs very differently when you can't chew and you can't feel the food on the roof of your mouth.

Every year I am brushing fewer and fewer teeth and I'm not even 50 yet.

Fast forward to today.

Guy and I are investing in a full mouth reconstruction for me. I've got to have more oral surgery to graft in bone where it has been lost over the years.

Pro TIP: when your teeth fall out, you lose the bone that was holding them in. Keep your teeth.

Saturday was the beginning. The first step towards a different dental future for me and an investment in my health for the next 50 years.

I researched and found an outstanding prosthodontist, (person who specializes in restoration).

We took scan after scan, picture after picture and put together a treatment plan.

Step one was to crack off every crown I already had in my head, 22, and file down any natural teeth I had left, 4, .

All the dental work I have had done for the last 30 years was cracked off and in a pile on the counter. Now I have temporary teeth attached on the top and bottom. They will be there until the surgeries and implants finish cooking over the next year.

Good news, I can't bit my fingernails any more.

I am worried that my teeth are going to be angry at the change and a few of them will need root canals before this is over. I really wwant them to be happy.

Maybe i'll take up oil pulling. That might help.