Waaah.....Waaah.......

Well. There went a useless week.

The news was certainly crushing and it took a while to get through all the emotions.

It felt like switching from 6th gear down to PARK in one ugly, scraping, grinding pull on the gear shift.

Now that I've had some time to reflect, and feel ashamed for my useless tantrum, I can start planning for this new development.

I spoke with my case worker's manager and got the skinny on what has been happening in the big ol' Regional Center.

The good news is that everyone there who knows our family KNOWS what we have been through. They look at us as examples of what parents can accomplish when they are committed to getting the best for their kids. The bad news is...that doesn't matter.

Seems like we are going to be the next guinea pig in the grand plan of "C.Y.A.".

California lost a big lawsuit and now the centers are even more gun shy about placements. You have to cross every "T" and dot every "I" before it happens or they could be vulnerable.

Of course, if new people show up every other month and introduce more new possible interventions...who knows how long this could drag out. That would be a nightmare.

In our case, it looks like this is the very last hoop. ONE MORE.

I was lucky enough to share my concerns and disappointment with the gentleman and reiterate a few important things:

1. Those people at the table, determining our fate, are not taking into enough consideration the collateral damage that families have to deal with in these extreme circumstances. Siblings live in these homes too, not just the clients and their parents.

2. This isn't about us being tired. This is about helping our family, EVERY member of it, participate in our community just like every one else.

3. Until you have walked in our shoes, you cannot assume you understand what it takes to have done what we have done. You don't know what it is like to have lived with a RIVER of humans running through your home for 12 years and then ask us to welcome more people in.

I could go on, but those seem like the most important points.

So we will do this one last thing. We will welcome another consultant in. I will stop feeling sorry for myself and make the best of this.

I will steel my nerve, swallow my pride and take up the flag.

forward.....march