anatomy of an evaluation......

This process of evaluation has been a blessing and a curse.

On one side, it has delayed an event that has been long needed and avoided. On the other, it has proven to us that our choices have been difficult and correct. I can look back now and appreciate both what we have been through and what we have done in order to provide the very best for our boys one day at a time.

The news of Tyler's delay was so devastating. It hurt so much to have to delay the respite we have been denying that we have been needing for years. My ego was seriously tweaked because our track record on paper wasn't good enough to persuade the "Powers That Be" that our case was legitimate. (Not a little narcissistic on my part, at all).

I blogged my concerns about who would show up at my door and how I was pleasantly surprised but our person's expertise and experience. Those first few hours of explaining our journey were grueling.

Last week was another session of watching Tyler in a home and getting familiar with his behaviors. He gave a great show with all of his vocal stims and frustrations.

This week was a session at school and then a short interview with Guy, DJ and I to confirm our decisions and more observation at home. It was important because we need to see if Ty's behavior is consistent across environments....and lo and behold....it is.
Another plus was that the evaluator was able to see the school, the staff and all the support there.
Guy made an excellent point when he said that the long commute, (40 minutes each way), is the perfect example of how far we are and have been willing to go to get the best for our children. That has been our life for the last 12 years.

We have sacrificed our family relationships in order to provide the best for these boys.

Near the end of the interview, the evaluator commented that being in the home and hearing our story really is different than seeing it on paper. And that is too bad because it would have been nice for our resume to speak for itself. Maybe that is something that could change?

This week we have one more visit. We will take Tyler out in the community and she can see him in action. The report is due next week and then the fun begins. We wait to see what everyone thinks of the eval and whether they agree with our request for placement.

That gives us roughly two more weeks before we know more about the future. Two weeks of fighting a tsunami of anxiety ....or.....practice our emotion surfing skills. I've been slowly trying to switch out my habit of free-basing carbohydrates into more nurturing activities.