Someone paid me a compliment today.
They told me that they really admired my stamina and persistence. That they looked to me as an example whenever they start feeling like life is getting a little too tough.
I was very touched by what they meant to say.
and then an hour or two later....it slooooowly dawned on me.
waaaaaaaait a minute. waaaait for it.
When their life sucks.....they think of me and what I am going through.
The magnitude of suckiness in my life helps to alleviate their pain and put their life in perspective. And by suckiness....I mean the word challenging.
Now, seriously. I KNOW that what they were meaning to say. This person is someone who I respect and admire and I sincerely appreciate the sentiment. And of COURSE what they were saying is that Guy and I work HARD to take care of our kids. We do. We do. We do. I am glad that people can look at me and appreciate what I have learned. That they can see that it is possible to learn how to manage to do very difficult things. It's just a shock to be reminded over and over again that you live outside of the norm.
And I hope that you don't find me childish for putting such a negative spin on something that was clearly a compliment.
But the reality is still there. Wow.
Yay...my life and how I live it can make a positive impact on others. Yuck...it is still reaaaaaally insanely/extraordinarily and overwhelmingly difficult. Not a complaint. Just an observation.
2 comments:
they are complimenting you on your REACTION to your adversity. not your adversity in and of itself.
read elder uchtdorf's talk from YW conference on saturday. SO GOOD.
I know exactly what you mean about these kind of "compliments". I get them all the time.
One of my personal faves was when a relative said my husband was a saint for marrying me and taking on my 2 kids with autism. That made me feel like a charity case!
I try to remember, as you do, that they think they are genuinely saying something helpful and caring.
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