field trip with Tyler....

Guy and I both went on Tyler's field trip yesterday.

We met the class and climbed on the short bus together. Summer has definitely arrived and so we were all grateful for the air conditioning!

On the list:
short museum tour, (the museum is super small) Tyler's favorite display was a piece of art encrusted with beads, plastic jewels and sequins. It was huge...sparkly and very very stimmy. His second fave was a faux American Indian necklace display in the gift shop. Dangling beads and SUPER stimmy! I sprang for some postcards and one of the necklaces.

Next was a walk around the Mission Inn. Very hot and not very interesting except for the giant Macaw birds in a huge cage in the courtyard.

Last and certainly not least.....Pizza.

It was very nice to spend time with the whole class and get to know all the aides and kids.

Shockingly enough, Tyler's aide and I have a special connection. She has 3 boys with autism. Out of the roughly 37 million people in California, she is one of TwO families that have 3 kids on the spectrum. Her youngest is 4 and they are thinking about doing ABA.

Tailspin city. What is wrong with me that I can't handle two? (trust me, I know that this isn't rational thinking) My gut just wrenched when I got the full story.

There are things that you just can't hep thinking. Like I'm a cheater. I didn't have enough of what it takes to make it.

I'm writing all of this down just to be clear that even if you make a choice that is right for your family....your sabotaging thoughts do NOT automatically turn off. You have to keep living with that choice and even re-make them again and again and again.

The tough part is that the daily grind is gone and life gets easier. My memory is like a hummingbird's attention span. I'm instantly doomed and condemned over and over again if I don't stop and re-think all the time.

It was lovely to see Tyler, make him giggle and cuddle on the bus. The tough part is leaving and re-thinking afterward.