what is this feeling?????......

We took our first trip out to see Tyler last night. It had been two weeks.

A great time was had by all.

Arrived at the boys house to find them playing and having a good time. Got the low-down from the aides and got the kids ready to go out.

Spaghetti Factory!

The best, noisiest restaurant to take our little autie guys. They gorged themselves on crusty bread and applesauce until the spaghetti and meatballs arrived. Some spumoni to top it all off and we were done.

I can't even begin to explain how all of this is changing our family.

The only way is to share that my feelings are changing. After a decade of "bracing myself" and "recovering" from thousands of episodes and events....it is all dissolving into a kind of peace.

It felt so right when we dropped the boys off. The aides in the home are so supportive and helpful. They are vigilant and caring, diligent and understanding. My boys are safe. My boys are content. We did the right thing.

We left the house radiant and thrilled.

and I am beginning to feel the sensation of an exhale.

I am still exhausted and recovering but after last night...it is all different again.

I am genuinely peaceful.