heckuva year....2011.....

wow....wow....and...wow.
A LOT happened this year. A LOT of things didn't happen too. One of them being an annual card with pictures and an update. Hence this blog post that will have to suffice.

This time last year was our first holiday with both boys in placement. It was a doozy. A lot of guilt and self loathing. A lot of worry and fear. It was awkward trying to figure out how to celebrate. Looking back on it now....the last 18 months have been a process of trying to figure out how to be parents of kids who live in a group home.

This whole year has been a series of cathartic moments full of emotion that pushed us closer to finding pieces. Pieces of confidence and peace.

DJ injured his knee and found out that he loves performing on stage. He started his Junior year...???????????????? He is learning to drive??????????? He attended his first prom with a friend. With a little help from his friends he found his voice, as the Warden and Ensemble member in "All Shook Up"

Auditioning for the J.U. production of "Cinderella".....and becoming an ensemble member too!
visited his brothers,
cleaned his room a few times and finished his Eagle Scout Project...(Tebow stance). Over 1900 books collected for the local Family Services League.

Tyler transitioned to High School with his favorite aide. She is a gem and has helped him find his way. Ty managed to grow out the bottom of every pair of pants all on his own. He is enormously content. My project this year is helping him deal with some tough acne. We are trying the Clairsonic Mia this week.

Spence had a very rough transition to Middle School. The kiddo just needs extra support all the time. Fortunately we ordered another Functional Behavioral Assessment to help us back up some changes needed for his next IEP. I'm looking for it. Puberty has not been a friend to our little guy who struggles with impulse control. It stretched him out making him stronger, faster, louder. More powerful than ever before and ten times more clever. Ah....my son. I love him to pieces.


Guy has had a job this year and for that we are so grateful. Nuff said. He still plays raquetball, cannot read enough nerdy books on business and analysis and succeeds at surpassing my expectations all the time.

We have all.....let the garden go to seed, avoided walking the dogs, left little rings on the end tables with our glasses and spent waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time surfing the internet!

I lost my mind a few times. I tried to blog my journey and reach out to other group home mommies and to good friends and family. I have had a lot of rage this year. Kinda like I'm finally processing everything that we have been dealing with since the beginning of Ty's delays. I have gone through weeks of not wanting to see the boys. (Haven't said anything about that much). I have let Guy take them out for fun stuff and been happy to hear about their trips. It takes time to nurse deep wounds that have festered for forever.


I went back to work after a 17 year break. I'm on-call for Macy's in the cosmetic department. It has been a blast. It has also changed our family routine. DJ is getting a lot of one on one with Daddy-o which suits all of us just perfectly. Manly men being manly and doing manly things. I pushed myself in photography for a few weeks.

I tried sending out homemade birthday cards to everyone all year. I actually made it through October. November and December family members....I AM SO SORRY!!! The job killed it. Better luck next year.

The best part of my year was making slow progress in my scripture study of the Book of Mormon. I'm outlining each verse in my battered composition book. My goal is to make it half way by the end of the year.

Something really good is that I am getting braver. I'm becoming really o.k. with where we are. Really o.k. that the boys are in placement. That has been one of the side effects of getting this job. I have been asked about my children at a really high frequency over and over and over again. I have told my story over and over and over again and it has been very painful. But it is helping. In a strange way telling the story so frequently has pushed me through the grief a little faster. And when I tell it, almost every single person has someone in their family or friend circle that has autism. It is every where.

My goals for this next year....
1. finish my photo scanning project of the Curtis Family photo collection
2. have a family portrait taken again....been a couple years too long
3. the garden weeds replaced with real vegetables
4. paint my bedroom
5. do something from the FlyLady.net website every day. I don't have to do ALL of it. Just one baby step per day.

So it has been a heckuva year. For all of us...for the world...and for our families. I'm enormously grateful for every good thing that has happened. I am equally grateful for every challenge.