In an effort to better evaluate our situation we got a visit this week from one of our Regional Center's administrators.
California has been hit with some lawsuits regarding the proper support of people with disabilities in the community. The most recent being the following case: http://www.sath.org/index.php?sec=741
The aftermath being that any consideration of placement for anyone is under intense scrutiny. It also makes the process for our boys take longer and lots more questions have to be answered before a move can be made.
That was the reason we invited the administrator to our home. Imagining the outcome of the visit has been the source of more than a little anxiety on my part. (If you read my posts for the last few weeks.....it's a little obvious!!!!).
My greatest fear was that I would learn that all my concern,fatigue and despair about the quality of our life was in my head and that our boys aren't the handful that they FEEL like they are. (Granted, I understand FULLY how crazy that sounds. Anyone who spends 10 minutes in our house figures that out all on their own. But this has been my life for YEARS. CRAZY is NORMAL for me. I'm a strong woman....shouldn't I be able to handle NORMAL???).
OK, back to the meeting. Guy came home early from work and I didn't have anyone else in the house but our family, our case worker and the administrator.
And the boys didn't disappoint.
They saw everything. The locked up house, Spence in his tighty whities at the top of our hill, and the show of shows during our 90 minute visit.
Tyler soiled his shorts right on cue and everyone got the Full Monty as he sprinted out of the bathroom after his shower! It was awesome!
Our discussion was punctuated every few minutes with another emergency and occasion for redirection.
Through it all we were able to explain everything that we have done to help the boys recover. We answered all the questions and got to tell all the lovely little events that have endeared us to our neighbors.
After it was all said and done we learned that there are 4 levels of care in group homes with 1 being the least involved all the way up to 24/7/365 one to one. Guess which one both of my boys qualify for??
The great big 4.
What a relief. I'm not crazy. We are really being required to do the work of a STAFF of people for TWO boys and it is soo much work. It is so much. It is so much. It is so much. For as much as I love my babies, for as hard as I have worked to become the autism MASTER, they still need more.
The plan now is to transition Spence first. He is the one with the toughest behavior issues. He will be the focus first.
Now we wait to see what happens again.
6 comments:
what a step. what a step.
i bet it's hard to exhale.
you definitely deserve a pedicure,
right now!
I truly, truly hope that this is the beginning of the answers to your prayers for your boys and your whole family. You are and have been doing the work of a team of people for so, so long without respite. I wish you peace of mind, of heart and soul.
I know exactly what you mean. It must have been a relief to hear that you are not "crazy" and confirmation that you need to help your kids...It is a tough road.
Wow. I'm glad you got that over with. I'm sure it's comforting to have someone else (with a bit of oomph!) acknowledge all the work it really is.
What happens now?
now we wait.
So happy that the boys showed their true selves. That is always my fear when the auditors from Katie Beckett-Medicaid come over, and my son has never failed to frighten the crap out of them. Yay! And while even you knew it was "crazy" to doubt that things were as difficult as they felt, it must feel great to have objective, quantified proof.
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