these are the posts that I don't like to write. They are embarrassing and that isn't ever a fun emotion. Is it fair to say that I am traumatized by my journey? There really are so many other circumstances in the world that are much more horrifying than my life and yet..
There are times when it is too hard to see my kids.
see...I typed it out loud.
I remember when the kids were little and I had a chance to get away to the grocery store. Shopping with all three kiddos was NOT an option. Leaving the house and being alone was a sweet treat. I could stop in the middle of the isle and breathe for a minute. But as soon as I pulled my cart into the chekout line, my stomach would churn. The laundry list of chores started to ping plus I would be reminded that they would all be taken care of with the constant shrill of verbal stims and trantrums in the background.
Last night I admitted to Guy that I was struggling. It has happened a few times in the past. Bless his giant heart he has always been super supportive. He isn't warped like I am. More than happy to take over total daddy duty and be there without me.
Huge relief for me plus guilt. Good moms don't get burnout. Autism moms have burnout even less.
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