It has been two days.
The fear has always been that the emotions of this experience would be too terrible to bear and I wouldn't be honest if I didn't admit that it delivered.
All of the horrible feelings were there and still are. Including a lot of anger.
That emotion certainly is a surprise. What am I angry about?
I'm angry and frustrated because there are oceans of emotion that I have had to stuff for 10 years. It is all bubbling up to the surface now.
It has been 10 years of isolation, grief, restriction, frustration, disappointment, limitations, fatigue, sacrifice, disruption. Being constantly surrounded by people who do not understand.
If I had any advice for someone who was going to be doing the same thing, putting your child into a group home, what would I say?
I would say:
1. absolutely prepare for a devastating experience. It isn't going to kill you but it will certainly feel like it.
2. Just because it feels awful doesn't mean that you aren't doing the right thing.
3. get professional mental health support if you think you need it. I absolutely need it.
4. it is going to take awhile to sort out your life once it happens.
5. be patient.
3 comments:
great advice danna. glad you are getting help through the transition.
can't wait to see you guys!
I couldnt find the words to express how i felt when my son moved but you have summed it up very well.
Unfortunalty his home hasnt worked out and he is about to move again so i still havent been able to work through my anger and frustration. But i know we will get there.
Hope things work out for you both.
What's the anger about? It's grief, honey, and I am so impressed that you're facing it head on.
(After Anger, there's Denial, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance. Lather, rinse, repeat.)
Post a Comment