win won for the home team.....

Today is a remarkable day for parents of children with disabilities. The Supreme Court made a monumental ruling: http://deafness.about.com/b/2009/06/22/supreme-court-makes-important-special-education-ruling.htm

Providing appropriate intervention for these kids is such a complicated-convoluted process. Many times there are losers on both sides of the isle and change is far too slow to come by. School districts can be castrated by resistant teachers , reluctant administrators, well meaning but under qualified teachers and aides along with host of other restrictions.

Parents can also be bullies and unworkable partners in a process designed to be a team effort.

In my 10 years of endless meetings there are a few things that have out-shone the rest as valuable tools.

1. Data. Without being nasty it is very simple to design some checks and balances that can be measured in the classroom. Measuring outbursts, inappropriate behavior, correct responses to requests and also documenting correct follow-through procedures for classroom aides is CRITICAL. (YOU CANNOT MAKE A CASE WITHOUT SHOWING PROOF)
**Take advantage of taking data at home and find patterns.

It would be easy if all arguments could be made based on anecdotal evidence. But that is neither helpful or accurate on either side of the argument.

2. Observations. Having extra pairs of eyes in the classroom, like regional center case workers, can help bring a less emotional opinion to the table.

3. Sometimes you have to be willing to let your child fail. A good friend and a tremendous advocate once told me that and it gave me chills even back then. I was SURE that I wouldn't ever have to resort to that tactic. And then the day came when we decided to do the very same thing. And BOY did our son deliver! Without that failure we would not have the ammunition to negotiate a reinstatement of our private service provider. Of course this choice is not for everyone or for the faint of heart. (Use with caution!)

4. TAKE THIS PROGRAM AND LIVE IT! http://www.partnersinpolicymaking.com/

5. Keep your emotions at home. People are sooooo much more willing to work with people who keep their cool. (Don't you feel the same?). How would you like to work with someone who is always criticising you and throwing tantrums???? You SERIOUSLY have to consider that you are working for a kid that isn't your flesh and blood. If you need to get professional help and or medication to help you achieve this, by all means do it. Just remember that you are married to this school district. You will accomplish very little in your long term relationship if you cannot hold your tongue and resort to being nasty, petty, snarky or pissy at your meetings.

6. Finally......pick your battles. The process of getting your child the appropriate services is MIND NUMBINGLY TEDIOUS. You need to think in longitudinal terms. Be proactive and work the project with professionalism. You CANNOT underestimate the value of taking small bites and chewing very slowly, (and with your mouth closed to be polite).

Of course these rules are subjective. There are NO situations that are similar to mine. I'm POSITIVE that there are plenty of people who would be critical of my choices and compromises, but I believe the principles are sound. My track record shows that I have successfully advocated 100's of thousands of dollars in interventions for my boys without using a lawyer. But on top of everything I feel like one of my greatest achievements is reflected by a compliment I got from an administrator. She said that she never cringes when she sees that it is my name on her caller ID and my call that needs to be returned. Good luck everyone.