Today was Spencer's last day in his school. I and the other parents had been invited for a little party at 10. They gave out cute little gifts to the boys that have been coming to the class to be their typical peers.
It was sweet to see the little guys.
It was awful when the kids were trooping out to go to lunch and Spence said: "mommy please" and grabbed my arm. He wanted me to escort him through the lunch line.
I had already handed out my thank you notes to all the aides and the teacher. The lump in my throat was unbearable.
I finally let him go once he was distracted by skipping through the lunch line.
The only thing that helps is to keep thinking about all the things he does without needing me around. School, therapy, social rec trips, when I leave for church and our dates. All of that time that he doesn't need me.
Does he need me because I am familiar and safe or because I have given him the most positive feedback? It would be so much easier if he only needed me because I am familiar.
I don't want him to need me anymore. That way I can be certain that this separation won't be distressful for him.
1 comment:
oh, ouch. that would be hard. it is late, and i am up late, so i can't comment and say anything wise.
i'm sorry this is going to be so hard on your family.
but i know it is the right thing to do; not the easiest, the right.
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